Pregnancy, for the 5th time...

I don't know why I haven't posted about this pregnancy, but it's true, I'm pregnant. Hallelujah!! I've been super nervous and anxious but with every doctor appointment we just keep getting good news. I'm 15 weeks and already showing. I'm trying to embrace it, knowing this is the last time I will be pregnant. I'm trying to think positive. I'm excited and scared. 2013 was a rough year for us, but it has ended great and I am looking forward to 2014. I'm so grateful for the love and support we have gotten from our friends and family. We really do have the greatest family and friends ever! Happy New Year everyone!

This week happenings..

Dayson had his CF clinic visit on Monday and he met his weight goal and his lung function was the highest it's ever been. Happy Day!!! Oh and usually this is a 3 hour appointment, but Monday it was only 2 hours!!! That has never happened, so again, Happy Day!!! Thank you again for all of your prayers and thoughts for this little man, he is definitely getting them!

As far as our IVF adventure, we had the embryo implanted on September 30th and according to the Doctor, it went really well.  I am continuing to do all the meds and we have the pregnancy test on Friday. It's been a long 9 days. I keep going back and forth, trying to stay positive and then trying to prepare for the worst. My hopes are so far above up, that I'm afraid of the hard, long fall if it doesn't work out like I hope. Friday seems like it will never get here, but then tonight while Dayson was doing his treatment we all watched home videos of when Bree was two and Dayson was a newborn and it seems like time really does go too fast. And it is official, Layla has more hair than Bree did at age two. I'm so grateful for my little family. I am so blessed. I have the best husband ever, the best 9 year old (10 in 2 weeks - eek!), the best 7 year old, the best 2 year old, and we have our angel Hope watching over us always.

I hope and pray that we will be blessed with one more, but I know that we have done all that we can, and it is now in His hands, and we will have faith in Him no matter what. I'm so grateful for my Savior and His love for me. I'm grateful for my family and friends and all the prayers for our little family. We are so blessed.

Dayson & InVitro

I didn't realize how long it's actually been since I last posted! Dayson was in the hospital for 2 weeks. That was a long and hard 2 weeks, but he was slowly getting better every day. He has been out of the hospital for 4 months now, and he's doing great. He doesn't have a cough, he has a great appetite and plenty of energy. He had a fun summer and is now playing flag football. He's in 2nd grade this year and is still trying to learn to like school. His older sister, Kambria, is in 4th grade and is playing soccer. His younger sister Layla is 2 1/2 and entertains the whole family all day, every day. 

IVF - Well, last time I had a really hard time on all of the meds and hormones and it really put a toll on our marriage. It didn't help that in the middle of it we were remodeling our house and dealing with a sick son. So it took us a while to prepare for this round 2. Chet and I were referred to a fantastic marriage counselor who doesn't live in Arizona, so we skype with her. It's been so amazing. Chet and I are closer than we've ever been and I am so grateful for this counselor and for Chet. We both had to do a lot of soul searching and changing for the better and I am so grateful for our relationship. Sometimes marriage isn't easy but we've found out that it's a whole lot easier if both spouses are trying. I'm so grateful for our 3 amazing kids and the marriage that we have now.  I have officially started the meds and we have the embryo implant scheduled for September 30th. I am fully leaning on my relationship with my Savior to get me through this, I pray every day that this time we will have a baby at the end of this. I'm so grateful for our Savior's unconditional love for me. I know that he loves me, in spite of my many faults.

Dayson Update - in the hospital :(

Dayson had his normal CF doctor visit today that he has every three months. I told Chet a few days ago how worried I was about him because I noticed him breathing fast and shallow and he still had a yucky cough, and his appetite was not what it normally is. So, I told Chet that we both needed to be at this appointment - it's hard on us because they are usually 3 hours long. Sure enough, his lung function dropped - there are two numbers and I don't understand them but in January they were both about 100 and today one was a 50 and the other was a 40. Not good. He also lost 4 pounds since his last visit in January, also, not good. So the plan is to be in the hospital for 10-14 days doing IV antibiotics and 4 treatments a day and eating as many calories as possible. I've been so afraid of the hospital, but today I felt like it was a must and had to happen so that he can get back to feeling good and get his energy back. We were at the doctor appointment until 5 and came home to get his stuff packed and to feed him dinner and then Chet and his brother Bevin gave him a blessing and then Chet took him up to UMC tonight so that they can start the PICC line first thing in the morning. My parents came into town to watch Layla and Bree, so I will be able to spend every day with Dayson. Chet is staying with him tonight and then I'll stay with him tomorrow night and so on and so forth. This is a new experience for us, but it is necessary and I feel like it is the best thing for him. I'm exhausted. Good night!

Update

On March 25th I had a Doctors appointment and told them that day that we decided on Embryo 4. So a week later on April 1st we did the Embryo Transfer and the Doctor said it went well. I continued my medication and just had to wait for the blood pregnancy test on April 12th. April 12th finally came and the results from the blood test was that I was pregnant but the pregnancy hormone level was at a 22 and they would have liked it to be at a 50, so she said there was a chance I may bleed over the weekend and that would be a sign of not a viable pregnancy, and that I was to do another blood test on Monday and we would find out the results Tuesday (today). The doctor called me this morning and told me the results from the blood test was that the level had dropped down to a 5, so I would miscarry. I couldn't hold the tears back when I was talking to him. I feel so bad that he has to give bad news to people like me who want a healthy baby. He was very sweet and sympathetic and he told me to call later. I cried and cried. I cried thinking about having to tell Chet and everyone else. We knew that Embryo 4 was a boy. It makes it more real and I'm still really sad. I told Chet and we both felt bad that we were not together to hold each other. Bad timing. I mustered the strength to text as many people as I could and cried at nearly every response. I talked to my mom and dad and we all cried together. But as the day went on it was clear to me that this is His plan and it just wasn't meant to be. We still have Embryo 1 that we will try - not sure when yet, but I'm hopeful that it will work next time. I'm grateful to have another chance. I'm grateful to have such amazing friends and family. I'm so grateful for my 3 kids that keep me going every day. I'm grateful that I have the best mother-in-law in the world. We have been remodeling our house and with all the dust and mess I had to send Dayson to her for a week up in Alpine in the fresh air. He hasn't been feeling good and has a cough and has lost some weight. I am so worried about that kid, and I was on the brink of a breakdown before I sent him up there. I felt so much better knowing that he was getting taken care of by Grandma. While he was away, he threw up a lot of mucus. He felt much better after. I feel like right now I need to be focused on him. I worry about that kid every single day. He reminds me every day how fragile life is and what really matters in life. He can be such a sweet boy and then such a punk too! Keeps us on our toes :) I missed him so much and I am so glad he is home. I am also grateful for volleyball - I love that I can go and play for 2 hours and not think about anything but having fun and getting exercise. Again, thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers. I'm very blessed!!

RESULTS

My doctor's office called today with the results!!! FINALLY!!!! So, we had 6 embryo's that were tested and the results are... 2 of them had no DNA, meaning they wouldn't have developed into a baby; 2 of them had major abnormalities, so if I would have become pregnant, they would have ended up in miscarriage. And the final 2 are healthy!!! They are both carriers of Cystic Fibrosis, one has the CF gene that I carry and the other one has the CF gene that Chet carries. So, all we have to do is decide which embryo gets implanted. I start more medication on the 12th of March and have an appointment on the 25th of March and if that appointment goes well, then we implant on April 1st. I can't tell you how happy I am to finally know what is going on and to finally have a plan and a date set!! We feel very blessed and I'm so excited and happy. Thank you for all of you support through this very long journey!! Wish us luck deciding between Embryo 1 and Embryo 4 :)

Update 3

The lab that is testing the DNA of the embryo's called Thursday and need another saliva sample from Chet's mom and from Dayson. FedEx delivered Dayson's kit for his sample today, so we just need to overnight it back and as soon as they get them back, it should take them about two weeks to get the results. This is definitely teaching me patience. I'm so nervous and anxious but at the same time, excited and a little scared. But I am putting my focus and energy into my house and we had amazing house guests over the weekend to help me with my obsession with my house. I love having great friends! Life is still beautiful.